“Sometimes you’ve just got to ask – just ask!” – Charlie-ism

There is a freedom in just asking. You leave your own limiting beliefs. Push the envelope and ask someone for something – service, money, help, and then they respond, and it’s a “yes”!

Many times we’ve played out the “no” in our minds. Over and over again that no is re-lived although it never even happens.

What a weekend for the Midland Livestock Show! If you didn’t stop in at the Horseshoe, then you truly missed something. From the bacon-wrapped shrimp and filet mignon provided by Abuelo’s Mexican Food Embassy and served by the 4-H club, to the barbeque served and prepared by Weatherford Completion Tools, it was fun, exciting, and engaging to see students and families work together in their great enterprise.

As a “city girl,” this was a whole new world to me 15 years ago. I couldn’t tell you anything about raising goats, showing steer, or what a duroc was. The closest view I had of the country were the corn fields we passed by on our fishing trips to rural Illinois and the countryside of the Philippines.

I’m so glad I was introduced to the Livestock show. It’s not just showing animals, and it’s not cruel. It is families and the community coming together as kids learn about responsibility, the value of life, business sense, citizenship, leadership, showmanship, and entrepreneurism. In fact, when all is said and done, these students utilize their business earnings from this endeavor and have a nice fund they worked for to go to college. In the stands, there are family members, friends, and the community cheering them on and partnering up with a hundred dollars here and a few hundred there as they pool together to make bids on the animals. It’s a taste of Wall Street surrounding the arena, but instead of trampling and pushing, it’s cheers and the flash of the camera that abound.

And in that trading, you see people ask! Friends asking friends to support; strangers asking strangers to combine their resources to make a good purchase; kids asking from the ring through showmanship, turning out pockets, rousing the crowd, and even donning the promotional garb of some of the buyers’ stores and companies in hope to gain their support. They ask – even if the fear of “no” may be there – they ask anyway.

As you read this, I hope you take a moment to think about what you can and want to ask for.

1. How often have you played out the answers to your own questions, the main answer being “no”? You’ve already lived and experienced the no in your head – so you might as well go ask. How will it be worse than what you’ve already played out?
2. FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. If you fear asking, sometimes it’s just a matter of diving in, like taking your first dive off the high dive, and just asking.
3. Make sure you KNOW what you WANT so you know what to ask for. I was facilitating a workshop last week, and the person was asking to win the lottery. I asked her, “is that what you really want or is it what winning the lottery will get you?” Be clear in what you ask.

Ask, and ye shall receive; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and the door shall be opened unto you.

Also, let me ask you to come out to the 2008 stock show at the Horseshoe Arena next January.

Express Success -
Coach Maria Elena AKA The Champion of Connections
“Helping you toot your own horn without blowing it!”

 Perfect timing, Joe!   Many are making list of those changes they are wanting for 2007, so I hope that the blog readers will take heart!

CHANGE FOR GOOD – By James Mapes

It doesn’t work to leap a twenty-foot chasm in two ten-foot jumps.” – American proverb

 ”Change.  Change.  Change.  Why does everyone and everything have to change?  It’s exhausting.”  In one form or another, this is a comment I have heard endlessly.  The real question is:  How would you feel if there was never any change in your life?  You would be bored out of your mind.  You wouldn’t learn, you wouldn’t grow, and your brain would lose its ability to shape itself around new ideas and adapt to new challenges.

 How do you adapt to new ideas and information?  Are you willing to change?  Would you change your behavior if your life depended on it?  Would you change your lifestyle and habits if you knew, absolutely knew, that your life on this earth would be cut short if you didn’t?

 If your answer is “yes,” you’re not facing reality.  All you have to do is take a hard look at the field of health care to find the proof for this disturbing fact.  “Study after study has shown that 90% of heart bypass patients can’t change their lifestyles, even at the risk of dying,” writes Alan Deutchman in the March 2005 issue of Fast Company Magazine.

Getting people to change their behavior is the primary challenge for every individual I coach, every company with which I work.  The complex issue of changing behavior is extremely challenging, for one very simple reason:  When you develop a habit, you “mold” your brain by forming new connections.  The older you get, the longer you continue any behavior, the more difficult it is to change.  Once your brain is “wired” for a particular habit, you will resist any change, even change that is in your best interest.

 Take heart!  Radical change is possible if you learn how to manage your mind.  To do that, you need to dispel some myths you may be holding about the nature of change.

 The first myth is that change is motivated by fear.  Simply not true.  Fear can jump-start change, but most people will simply resist the change or go into denial when confronted with what terrible things may happen if change doesn’t take place.

Another myth is that crisis creates permanent change.  Like fear, crisis can act as a catalyst for change, but will never sustain change long-term.  If most people won’t change to save their lives, how is it possible to sustain any long-term change?

 Remember, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results!  Stop the insanity in 2007! 

Maybe you need a mentor or a coach?

Coach Maria Elena AKA The Champion of Connections

“Helping you toot your own horn without blowing it!”

 The saying goes: “Negative attention is better than no attention.”  This is true with children as it is with adults.  People would rather receive negative attention as opposed to no attention at all.  Being valued, along with the need to belong and feel included, are basic human needs according to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory.

When you work with teams of people, are you fulfilling that?  Or, do you attract the “negative” out of people because that’s the only way that could get any attention from you?  Remember, when people work together with you in either a paid team or a volunteer team, they seek to be a contributing member, not just a “bump on the log.”

 When people come together and give of themselves, they give that which is most precious to them – their hearts and mind.  Are you the conductor of positive energy or are you the autocratic, negative, “my way of the highway” type of person?  Expect the worst from people and that’s just what you’ll get.

For example, imagine that we are sitting at a table face to face, and I ask you to write down your list of goals and dreams for 2007.   However, I ask you to hold your breath as you are writing this list down and to not take a breath until I say.  How long and how easily do you think you can continue to write down or even think about those goals and dreams?  There will come a time when all you can think about is when I will say “take a breath,” and in your mind and heart, there will not even be enough room to think about your goals and dreams.

So, are you feeding your teammates, referral partners, and group members their basic needs?  Or, do you expect them to perform without their basic needs?  If they don’t have “air,” they will perform like anyone else whose basic needs are not fulfilled.  In that same breath, are you fulfilling their basic needs of belonging and value?  Do you create community?  That is STEP ONE in working together in a collaborative group.

Need more on how to work a group into a team?  Call the coach.

Connect with confidence and creativity!

Coach Maria Elena AKA The Champion of Connections

“Helping you toot your own horn without blowing it!”

Happy New Year! As we start 2007, many will spend time in reflection, goal setting, and crafting what they will focus on in 2007. What will you do better? What is most important to you? What do you need? What would be helpful to you? What is the most important thing you could ask yourself?

 Jennifer is a small, home-based business owner, and she recommends Max Lucado’s book,The Cure for the Common Life . “Far more than assessments, it’s a wonderful book to walk you through questions that help you determine your focus areas and strengths” says Jennifer.

 As you focus on your sweet spot, here are some recommendation:

1. Ask ten people you know, what they think your strengths are?  What do they feel you “bring to the table?”  While I do not recommend acting or reacting to what other people’s opinions are of you, it is important to know what “perception” is out there.  Perception is reality.  Once you know what that perception is, you can review what actions you exhibit that draw others to that conclusion, or you can confirm and solidify that strength area.
2. Ask yourself, what do you want to be known for?  When all is said and done with your life, what do you want to be remembered for?  How would you like people to speak of you?  Write what you would like to hear, and begin a process to plant the seeds of that word garden.
3. What didn’t work in 2006?  Do not view those as failures; rather, view them as possible ideas and goals that were “caught and needed to be released.”  It is time to review “catch and release.”  What “fish” do you need to fry?  And, what fish do you need to release?

Interested in some help with this?  You can always connect with a coach!

Now, here’s MY mission: 

Creating connections in an environment that fosters confidence and creativity!

To an abundant and prosperous new year!

Coach Maria Elena AKA The Champion of Connections

“Helping you toot your own horn without blowing it!”

“Can’t we all just get along” or “let’s all work in harmony” are dangerous myths that are passed along as sound advice in any organization or team effort.  There is a reason that “harm” is the root word in the word harmony.

Does that mean that musical harmony doesn’t sound good or pleasing to the ear?  NO, absolutely not.  Harmony sounds wonderful in music.  However, harmony in a team ASSUMES that everyone is producing to their best effort.  In music, do not every note and every pause contribute to the melody?  In working with people, one cannot assume that every person is “giving it their all.”  After all, we are human beings.  Jim Rohn said it best when he said “working with a group of human beings is like herding cats.”  It’s tough!

 If, for the sake of harmony, you ask your best and most productive people to get along with those who are lazy, slow movers that are self-focused or egotistical, what are you really asking?  You’re not asking for harmony; you’re asking them to compromise their principles and values.  It’s a dangerous assumption to think that everyone who comes to the table is responsible for their action, personally committed, and detached from the outcome.  In reality, many people are scarcity thinkers who believe if they don’t grab a piece of the pie, someone else will take it.  In reality, many people do not have the personal self confidence and esteem to give up their position for the betterment of the whole.

In working with a CEO mastermind group, my greatest challenge is in watching the great expansion and contraction as the wheat is separated from the chaff.  If our only focus was harmony, then we would have people at the CEO mastermind table who do not respect confidentiality, business ethics, or contribution.  Business is about making money – bottom line.  PRODUCTIVITY, as opposed to HARMONY, is key.  Being committed to the objectives of the organization or the team is important to collaboration.

Forget about harmony – go for productivity.

Coach Maria Elena, AKA The Champion of Connections

“Helping you toot your own horn without blowing it!”

fal·la·cy

n. pl. fal·la·cies

1. A false notion.

2. A statement or an argument based on a false or invalid inference.

3. Incorrectness of reasoning or belief; erroneousness.

4. The quality of being deceptive.

A friend and colleague of mine “Sam” (not his real name however, his real story) uttered the statement “2006 was a bad year.”  When questioned as to why he would say that, he answered, “I’ve had two jobs in my whole life and in 2006 I had seven.”

From the OUTSIDE looking IN, one could easily make a judgment and say “Sam was not focused for 2006″.  However, the FALLACY OF FOCUS is that we assume (assume stands for something that makes an a– out of U and ME) we know what the goal is.  Or, we might imply or “heaven forbid” project our OWN GOALS onto some unknowing soul.

Going back to my friend “Sam”.  He was VERY FOCUSED for 2006.  His goal in January 2006 was to stay home and see his son grow up.  He had his first born in his life and he was traveling for 8 weeks and getting to spend one weekend home and then was off on the road again.  He held seven jobs in 2006 because he was FOCUSED on that GOAL.  He made some tough choices, really made some sacrifices, was scoffed at by “fellow colleagues” but in the end – he saw his son cut his first tooth, tucked him in at night, take his first steps and enjoy the goal of being home and being daddy.

There are many unsung heroes in this life.  People that we sit elbow to elbow with and judge by OUR STANDARDS and OUR OWN definition of success.

For 2007, might I suggest, slowing down and asking someone “what is YOUR definition of success” or “what does winning look like to you?”  If we slow down, and ask those things, the picture that WE VIEW of them might actually match up with what they wanted all along – even if they “have been beaten up by others’ judgment” that they forgot – for just a moment – what that was.

It’s in asking those questions that we develop relationships – and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Or, at least it is in my personal picture of success.  How about for you?

Coach Maria Elena a/k/a THE Champion of Connections

Helping you to toot your own horn without blowing it! 

A CEO in our mastermind group who is a MASTER at making money said it best when he shared this profound phrase with us – Let The Trend Be Your Friend!  In other words, find out where the money is going to be and make sure that you are there.

How many of you know what the trend is in your business?  How many know the trends that are happening in other businesses that will impact your business?

Being the BEST at what we do means that we need to have a connection with others who are BEST at what they do so that we can see the upcoming trends.  The RIPPLE EFFECTS of such a trend are staggering however, even more staggering is a trend that comes and goes and you get to see it just as it’s making its exit.

Want to be at the CUTTING EDGE OF YOUR industry?  Hang out with people who are at the CUTTING EDGE OF THEIR industry?

I’ve always believe in the thought that YOU ARE THE 5 PEOPLE you hang around with the most.  Being BUILT BY ASSOCIATION is not just a nice thought – it’s reality.  I know, I know – it might be “perception” but guest what?!  Perception is reality.  So, look around you?  Who are the 5 people you spend time with? Can they give you the upcoming info in their industry? Are they experts in their field?  Who are you hanging out with – because that is WHO YOU ARE.

Like attracts like -

Coach Maria Elena a/k/a THE Champion of Connections

“Helping You Toot Your Horn Without Blowing It!”

My coaching buddy, Nigel Clayton, owner of www.gettingtohighstreet.com, shared some insight in developing MISSION and VISION.

VISION – Is What Your Life Looks Like When You Are Being The Best You Can Be.

MISSION – Is What You Want To Do In This Life.

As 2006 comes to an end, I hope that we are all reviewing or “inventorying” or goals and celebrating our accomplishments.

Some key questions to ask:

1.  What is at your CORE?  What makes you authentic? What are your areas of excellence?  What is your calling?  Are you following what you have energy for?
2.  What did you do last year that worked?  What didn’t work?  What are you doing out of habit?

3.  What comfort zone are you in now?  What’s the next comfort zone you’re moving to in the next 6 months?

Happy reviewing!

Coach Maria Elena a/k/a THE Champion of Connections

ATTRACTION BRAND©  Coach

Today’s quote comes from James Blasingame, The Small Business Advocate:

Be thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means you have enough to eat.

Be thankful for the mess you clean up after a party, because it means you have been surrounded by friends.

Be thankful for the taxes you pay, because it means you’re employed.

Be thankful that your lawn needs mowing and your windows need fixing, because it means you have a home.

Be thankful for your heating bill, because it means you are warm.

Be thankful for the laundry, because it means you have clothes to wear.

Be thankful for the space you find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means you can walk.

Be thankful for the lady who sings off key behind you in church, because it means you can hear.

Be thankful for the alarm that goes off in the early morning, because it means you are alive.

And finally, here is mine: I’m thankful for small business owners — the most courageous and most important modern-day pilgrims I know.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Coach Maria Elena a/k/a THE Champion of Connections