“When you look through your own window of experience and judge others by that window, you have assumed that you match them completely.” - Maria”ism”
fal·la·cy
n. pl. fal·la·cies
1. A false notion.
2. A statement or an argument based on a false or invalid inference.
3. Incorrectness of reasoning or belief; erroneousness.
4. The quality of being deceptive.
A friend and colleague of mine “Sam” (not his real name however, his real story) uttered the statement “2006 was a bad year.” When questioned as to why he would say that, he answered, “I’ve had two jobs in my whole life and in 2006 I had seven.”
From the OUTSIDE looking IN, one could easily make a judgment and say “Sam was not focused for 2006″. However, the FALLACY OF FOCUS is that we assume (assume stands for something that makes an a– out of U and ME) we know what the goal is. Or, we might imply or “heaven forbid” project our OWN GOALS onto some unknowing soul.
Going back to my friend “Sam”. He was VERY FOCUSED for 2006. His goal in January 2006 was to stay home and see his son grow up. He had his first born in his life and he was traveling for 8 weeks and getting to spend one weekend home and then was off on the road again. He held seven jobs in 2006 because he was FOCUSED on that GOAL. He made some tough choices, really made some sacrifices, was scoffed at by “fellow colleagues” but in the end – he saw his son cut his first tooth, tucked him in at night, take his first steps and enjoy the goal of being home and being daddy.
There are many unsung heroes in this life. People that we sit elbow to elbow with and judge by OUR STANDARDS and OUR OWN definition of success.
For 2007, might I suggest, slowing down and asking someone “what is YOUR definition of success” or “what does winning look like to you?” If we slow down, and ask those things, the picture that WE VIEW of them might actually match up with what they wanted all along – even if they “have been beaten up by others’ judgment” that they forgot – for just a moment – what that was.
It’s in asking those questions that we develop relationships – and that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Or, at least it is in my personal picture of success. How about for you?
Coach Maria Elena a/k/a THE Champion of Connections
